The hardest thing I have ever had to do is to forgive my ex. At first I really hated him, blamed everything on him, and really looked for ways to get back at him. It took longer than I care to admit for me to see that all of the anger and resentment was hurting not only me but my children more than it would ever hurt him. It was not until I found my awesome church and the wonderful people in it that I started to actually grow. I learned that I wasn’t alone. There were other people who had been hurt before. Other people who had been in worse positions. They supported me and really listened.
I am not saying that church will work for everyone or that all churches are created equal, but it is a good place to start. If that is what you think may work by all means start trying out churches. Just make sure you are comfortable. The whole point is to no longer feel isolated.
Also, don’t surround yourself with negative people. I had so many people who spent so long putting me down. Telling me that I should never have gotten pregnant again or that I needed to discipline my kids more. All those people are now gone. I have learned to stand up for my kids and have the confidence I lacked when they were small. You want people in your corner who are going to support you. I am not talking financially or physically, but emotionally. You are capable of great things especially when it comes to your kids. You need people who believe in your dreams and will help you find ways to get there.
My dream has always been to be able to be a part of my kids life. When they were small I worked at domino’s delivering pizzas. I had to work so many hours to make ends meet I missed their first steps. I was spending so much money on babysitters I barely had any left after. Yet somehow I made it work. I didn’t start staying home till my oldest was three. I have tried my hand at making soap, cloth diapers, bath bombs, and various other things. I have done odd jobs like cleaning houses and caring for the elderly. I spent so much time worrying about having things for the kids and yearning to spend more time with them. It wasn’t until i started dating again and got pregnant with number four that I realized I would not make the same mistakes again.
Of course this time I had the boyfriend to help. Let me tell you something though. When I was married and when I had my twins I was not secure in who I was or who I wanted to be. I had to figure out how to be me, for my kids, for myself, and for my future. I was never ready to be married before. I was not ready until I experienced the heartache, the pain and suffering. I had to learn to overcome.
I firmly believe that God gave me my fiancé. He has taken in my first three and taken on our little surprise. He hasmade it possible to stay home and do what truly makes me happy which is teaching and learning from my precious babies.
My story just goes to show that good things do come. We just have to be willing and able to accept them. Also, don’t settle for less than you deserve. You are awesome and deserve greatness.
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