We have all been there. Stressed about money and adult things. Working as much as possible to meet these goals that we have.
I was working 40-70 hours a week at a job I hated. My kids were always with a sitter. Their first year I burned through 4 different sitters. When I was home I took care of the bare necessities: food, clothes, sleep. I thought I was doing good. I was frustrated and inexperienced though. I took out my frustration on them way too much.
Now looking back I realize that the punishment is not as important as the reward. Taking the time to sit and listen to my son read to me is way more important then the money and the stuff.
The attention he receives has a direct correlation to his attitude. If I am frustrated and upset over him coloring on the walls he is going to become upset and probably lash out in the near future. If I ask what he is drawing and hand him paper or sit and color with him, he is going to be sweet and kind. Our children want to be near us, to spend time with us. They love us that much that they don’t care if it’s negative attention they just want the attention.
What example will you set? Will you put your phone/ tablet/ laptop down and sit on the floor and play with the Legos it took you two hours of work to buy?
When I had my last baby. My other kids would get so jealous. They took it out on the baby all the time. It drove me nuts. This is when I realized that it was my fault. I used to spend so much time with them. Now there is this baby that mommy spends all her time with. Ben would sit there and tell me he was thirsty and I would ask him to wait. In his mind the baby is more important than him. How horrible is that thought.
I am not saying ignore the baby, just make sure the older kids get attention too. Good attention.
It’s amazing how much easier things get when we take a step back and gain perspective. Fight for the things that truly matter not against it.
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